The urgings of Singaporeans.
It is very interesting the way a people react, when an outsider holds a mirror up for them to peer into. I do this, daily, for Singapore. However, it is abundantly clear that many Singaporeans don't appreciate being shown their own reflection. They have a typical reaction to it. Each and every poster, from Singapore, who has commented on my tendency to comment on Singapore in a truthful manner tells me one thing: leave.
I find this very interesting. The universal response of Singaporeans to anyone who writes in the least bit critically, or honestly, or openly, is to ask them to leave Singapore. Not one of them has said anything along the lines of "We find your viewpoint eye-opening, however it might be difficult to admit, so please hang around and comment some more...". No. What they always say is: go away.
What I find most interesting about this tendency of theirs to urge the messenger to depart, is that they never actually look at the validity or content of the message itself. They never seem to consider whether, in fact, the point being made is true or not. All they seem to be able to see is that the comment is not a COMPLIMENT...and then they react negatively. In Singapore, there is freedom of speech, as long as you only say wonderful things about the way things are. The moment you actually speak the TRUTH...everyone gets unhappy about it. I find this most amusing. It is land that not only lives in denial, but rejects those who are not in denial along with them.
It is not just on the question of critical comment that Singaporeans have urged us to leave. Only a small fraction of my posts are critical of Singapore (though it is telling to note that the Singaporeans who complain of them, write as if all the posts are critical...even though some are even complimentary). I am also urged to leave whenever I write of educational matters or tell of the lack of solid support we have received for our son's educational needs. Again, the response (this time in very aggressive words) is for us to be asked to leave.
Now, none of this would really matter. Except for one thing. You see, what I find most odd is that not one commenter, whether it be on my blog writings, or my educational writings, or the situation with respect to the education of our children, has ever asked us to stay. Not one Singaporean has ever suggested that we should stay on and enjoy the hospitality of their nation. Not one has extended a verbal welcome online...all of them are urgings to go elsewhere.
This is, I think, the most revealing aspect of the situation. You see, to my mind, the most valuable person in a society or an organization, is the person who is telling you what you don't want to hear. For that person, and perhaps that person ALONE, is the only one who is telling you the truth of things as they are. The ones who always tell you what you want to hear, are lying to you. They are the "yes" men, who will never let you see things as they are. Yet, in Singapore, the truth tellers are asked to leave and the yes men are urged to stay. We have never been in the category of "yes men" and so have never been offered any real kind of welcome, on an ongoing basis.
Singapore is a country that doesn't know who to value. The ones they embrace tend not to be ones who can offer anything new or substantial to the country (just think of all the "top guys", here, who seem not to have a single idea of their own, as far as I can determine); whereas the ones they wish elsewhere are actually the ones who have something novel to offer. No doubt this is largely due to the fact that Singapore is a nation built on conformity: it is a case of the bland leading the bland. Anyone with any real spark of originality or character, or insight, in such a framework, is really, really unwelcome.
Some Singaporeans wish we would leave, because we challenge the way things are, in some ways. I tend to express my thoughts on the place - and we are trying to do something non-standard in the way of educating our children. These two characteristics do not endear us to those who like their city to be a place without change; a place in which no one challenges the way things are, in any way, at any time.
The funny thing is that what I am doing is very mild. I am doing nothing more than trying to meet the educational needs of my children - and speaking my mind on what I observe happening in Singapore. In most societies, these activities would be regarded as SO inoffensive that no-one would mind in the least. In fact, they would probably welcome the stimulus of the conversations that result. In Singapore, however, to comment freely is regarded as unacceptable; to wish to educate one's children in a non-standard way, is also not to be tolerated. The problem, therefore, is not with what I am doing or saying - but with the way Singaporeans are: they just do not have much tolerance for outside views or ways different to their own. There is only one way to do things: the Singaporean way. Anything else, is to be asked "to leave".
This is darkly amusing. You see, if a nation's people are so intolerant of outside perspectives or new ways of trying to do things, then that nation is on a path to extinction. Nowhere that is not open to outsiders, open to change, open to review and feedback, is going to develop in a healthy way, in the modern world. It is going to fail.
So, please, by all means ask all who give Singapore feedback, to leave. Please, by all means, ask all who challenge the educational system, to depart. In the end, it is Singapore that shall lose by its closed-mindedness.
P.S: I am writing this post in response to yet another commenter who has asked me to leave Singapore. He is doing so because I wrote negatively of Singapore's electricians and entertainment industry! A more rational response would be to regulate both industries to eliminate the problems revealed...but no, the Singaporean approach is get rid of the critic, not to address the problem! (You see it is quicker and easier to silence a critic, than to solve a problem. If no-one is left to speak about a problem, Singaporeans think it is equivalent to solving the problem, because no-one is speaking about it anymore. Great stuff.)
(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to:http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.
We are the founders of Genghis Can, a copywriting, editing and proofreading agency, that handles all kinds of work, including technical and scientific material. If you need such services, or know someone who does, please go to: http://www.genghiscan.com/ Thanks.
IMDB is the Internet Movie Database for film and tv professionals. If you would like to look at my IMDb listing for which another fifteen credits are to be uploaded, (which will probably take several months before they are accepted) please go to: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3438598/ As I write, the listing is new and brief - however, by the time you read this it might have a dozen or a score of credits...so please do take a look. My son, Ainan Celeste Cawley, also has an IMDb listing. His is found at: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3305973/ My wife, Syahidah Osman Cawley, has a listing as well. Hers is found at: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3463926/
This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication prohibited. Use Only with Permission. Thank you.)
Labels: an overseas view of Singapore, attitude to feedback, Education, racism, Sensitivity, The Great Singaporean Expat Exodus, where the truth is unwelcome, xenophobia
28 Comments:
Show me an Asian country that is any different. Criticism, even constructively worded is not valued in this part of the world. As "outsiders" we bring nothing of value to a country unless it can be exploited and used to make money for the local economy.
Hi Indiana,
I am not familiar, in depth, with other Asian countries, so I will have to take your word for it.
Locals may not see "outsiders" as bringing value, but, in fact, outsiders are the most valuable, since they, by definition, bring something new to the table...and from that all sorts of things can spring.
A lot of "outsiders" are relatively senior in companies based in Singapore. They provide quite a bit of the input that keeps this economy moving forward. Take them away and I think you will soon see what Singapore's local system is capable of...or not. Singaporeans may not LIKE outsiders, but they are entirely dependent on them for much of their success, financial and otherwise. However, it is clear from the resentful request (orders?) to leave that we regularly receive that such contributions are neither appreciated, nor welcomed.
Thanks for your comment, Indiana.
i don't think they are asking you to leave? but rather trying to understand why you continue staying in a country you dislike so much. it makes sense to most of us to pack up our bags and leave if the environment is hostile against us, there are other countries as you say that your views will be better tolerated, that ainan will be given a better education etc.
Dear Anon,
I agree that there may be some people who see benefit in us leaving, for our own sake and are empathetic to our situation. There are others, however, whose words are too aggressive to come into this category...these people most assuredly mean us to leave and not in a nice way.
So the response is mixed: some mean well, others not.
Why have we stayed so far? Well, because my wife is Singaporean and she has roots here...that is all. Were it not for that, I don't think we would be here at all.
For the time being we remain with my wife's roots...
Thanks for your comment.
Frankly speaking, I am puzzled as to why you still put up with all the negatives in Singapore.
Your blog postings have a heavy skew towards bad experiences in Singapore.
Puzzled because a man of your education and ability, should have little problem settling into another country which can be much more suitable to you and your family.
Your wife seem hesitant to leave, perhaps she is used to the ways in Singapore?
FYI.
http://themalaysianinsider.com.my/index.php/world/41572-some-americans-wrongly-perceive-singapore-as-representative-state-says-minister
Valentine
Nobody likes criticsm per se and this applies across the board even in so called OECD western societies.
Those who do accept constructive criticsm or does who are willing to learn or adapt or agree to disagree which includes Singaporeans.
Regarding "outsiders", some do and some do not bring value but as you point out this applies in all communities.
Valentine et al, all are definitely welcome to stay who wish the best for Singapore society no matter how harsh the criticsm although I personally may not agree to the criticsm
Regards
Best post I ever read from you! It is so true! I am a foreigner too...I want to add something to what you said to the anon. Some Singaporeans are curious why foreigners would want to stay in a country we "dislike so much." Why is it that if someone offers up a criticism, they are viewed as "haters". "If you hate Singapore so much, you should leave" being a typical thought process. What many Singaporeans do not understand is that there is a difference between hating a place and being critical of it. When I am in the US, I offer up my criticisms as well. We engage in vigorous debate about all aspects of society and complain heartily about how people behave, how the government functions, and about insurance adjusters' shenanigans. Just because I criticise (a lot of) things in the US doesn't mean I hate the place. In fact, I like it, and I criticise so that it will improve. Singaporeans must not be interested in improving the place - they just assume that a critic is a hateful interloper who should be kicked out of this heavenly utopia (even if they secretly harbor the same criticism). No wonder Singaporeans don't pipe up when Singaporean leaders say international organizations or newspapers shouldn't "interfere" in domestic matters. That behavior permeates this society. "Those spiteful international people should keep quiet and stay out!"
Thank you, Wang, for your welcome and your perspective on the value of feedback/criticism.
Re. best post and dislike.
Firstly, I am glad you like the post...secondly, you have expressed well, a point I myself have omitted to make, but should have done. I DON'T dislike Singapore...but I do think that it could be improved and, in raising issues, I am seeking just such an improvement.
You are right in that there is a basic assumption, here, that all who criticise must hate, therefore must leave. It is quite silly and immature really and just shows that locals have no concept of DEBATE. Ideas are not to be discussed. The country is not to be discussed. Life is not to be discussed. Of course, politics are not to be discussed. After all that, there is nothing left to be discussed...which probably explains why good conversations tend not to happen within these city limits. People are too busy "not discussing"!
Best wishes to you
Re. Americans perceiving Singapore wrongly...is it not more likely that local politicians are perceiving Singapore wrongly? After all, they grew up with the system and are not free of it, so cannot look at it impartially...
I shall write on this.
Thanks for the link.
Thanks Clunies-Ross, for your advice re. the wisdom of departure. Given the content of your post, I don't think I should post it...but that is not censorship: I am just being wise.
I will certainly bear your advice in mind.
Thanks for all your considered posts over the past year or so. They are ever interesting to read.
Eaststopper,
Yes. It is true that I have posted more negative than positive experiences of Singapore. However, this is not the result any "skew" or bias on my part. I report both positive and negative matters with equal fairness...it is just that I have encountered more negatives than positives, that is all. Were it the other way around, there would be a skew towards positives. There is no inherent bias at work.
I have stayed here because of my wife's ties to family. I have also enjoyed my time here, in certain ways and at certain times. That is not to say that there have not been problems and issues to deal with, too...but there have been some positive aspects as well. The experience, like all experiences, has been mixed.
I should point out that though I think Singapore could be improved, I do not actively dislike it. I just see it for what it is and what it isn't.
Nevertheless, Singapore has placed limitations on us, particularly educational ones, which have been difficult to bear. This is, I feel, unproductive and unnecessary.
You are right in that it would not be difficult to establish ourselves elsewhere. I have mobile skills, that could take me anywhere.
Whatever happens, it cannot be said that we did not give Singapore a good chance. We have spent eight years here, out of the last ten.
As for the future, we shall see...
Thanks for your comment.
couple of things i wanna say both in response to valentine and commenters.
firstly valentine i don't think its fair to say that you have encountered more negative than positive experiences hence you cover them so in much greater extent. I think as humans we all have a tendency to focus on the negatives, you included which is why your portrayal of singapore is that way. yet if you chose to spend a week writing about nothing but positives you might find that tehre really are many more such experiences out there.
to the foreigner, you're right that we should embrace ideas and criticism, however i would like to point out theres a distinction between just being critical and doing something about it. you argue that you're being critical so that US/SG can improve. that comment reminds me of those grand parents who complain at their grand children telling them 'in my time, this is how things were done'. in short, you're just complaining, giving criticism without taking any actual action, and theres nothing respectful about that. at the very least valentine has been engaging in constructive measures like meeting up with the ministries. really if all you do is complain and don't value add, i think the harsh truth is take your complaining to a place better appreciated. you aren't the only one with eyes who can see society's problems
to add on to my earlier post, some positive things in singapore that you probably should have an idea about but don't write about are like low income tax (in places like US/UK its horrible)
good education (well not in ainan's case i guess), but in general singapore's education is of a higher quality than most of the world, and yet is less stressful compared to many SEA countries. And while you have many valid complaints about the inflexibility of the system, i dont see you have much success in finding education for ainan overseas (or i guess you would have started it), so perhaps singapore is not the only inflexible place
and lastly national pride, while it seems odd, dont you find that singaporeans have national pride in being upset with complainants? while some commenters argue that the US is much more accepting of critics, bear in mind that a great number (2/3) of americans can't place the US on a map according to their own admissions. and well if you want to compare cross countries, i'll say singapore is much more accepting than other asian countries like Korea? In S. Korea recently there was a korean star who had to leave over comments he made many years back when he was new to korea saying: Koreans are gay, i hate korea. I think your views of singapore while unintentionally so pretty much yell out i hate singapore and singaporeans are either inflexible bureaucrats, intolerable fools, or liars cheaters and the like. sure there are many of those out there, but there are just as many good people (or more) who hate being branded with your labels of what you think a singaporean is.
Err...no, Anonymous, re. tax. I have actually written on the comparative tax issue, in a favourable post about the Singaporean tax situation, quite some time ago. You haven't read the whole of my blog.
I have actually written on quite a few positive aspects of Singapore over the years...but I have written on negative aspects, too. Interestingly, my positive posts are never linked to or highlighted by Singaporean aggregators, whereas my negative posts are. Perhaps that is why people think I only write negative posts.
I am not labelling Singaporeans in general, when I write of my experiences, here: the tales are specific to the people involved. I even name them, if I have their names.
Yes. Singaporeans can be very
"proud of their nation". This is basically nationalism. I am not sure this is an entirely positive characteristic, however, since many of history's greatest crimes/worst wars have been pursued because of a profound nationalism. Thus it is a feeling to be wary of...however, I note that the PAP does its best to instil nationalism, at every opportunity. This could actually be a dangerous thing to do, long-term.
Thanks for your comment.
Anon re. talking to Ministries.
Again, you reveal your lack of knowledge about our situation. I actually have spent a lot of energy communicating with the MOE, the GEP, and, on occasion, MPs and a Minister, regarding ways to improve the education system. We got nowhere with them (they are very inflexible and listen only to their own egos). So, we gave up. However, we did try...for two years or so. So, you really can't say we haven't actually put our words into action. We have. What positive steps towards change have you taken?
Sadly, if I were to take up your offer only to write about positive things in Singapore, I would have much less to write about. It would result in fewer posts, in general...not a sudden expansion of positives. You see, what Singaporeans don't understand is that their society lacks many things present in all developed Western societies. These things make for a very different society with a lot of social inequities and structural problems that are just not going to go away. (For instance, European economies have free healthcare and free education for all...just imagine what a difference that would make to the Singaporean social landscape...)
Foreigners see things about Singapore that locals cannot...and never will, simply because they do not have a wealth of external experience to draw on. We see more clearly, because we have more comparisons to make, from direct, personal experience. This situation should not be dismissed, but should be learnt from. The person least well equipped to understand Singapore, is a Singaporean...
I love the way Anon re. negatives and positives, assumes a God like ability to count my negative and positive experiences, and correct me for my "wrong" impression of my own life. I rather had the understanding that a person is a better judge of their own life experience than someone on the internet who has never met them...but heh, maybe in Singapore that just doesn't hold?
I have had a lot of NEUTRAL experiences in Singapore...ones neither good nor bad...some positive experiences, but quite a few more negative experiences. I have tried to write of both positive and negative ones. The neutral ones are not worth writing about since they are just boring.
I am the foreigner who wrote in above. The anon below me suggested that I shut up or "leave" if I have a criticism that doesn't "add value". Indeed, this typical reaction is exactly what I was criticising. Indeed, I am "adding value" simply by participating in this lively discourse. Someone else may be interested in what I have to say. The anon even replied to me directly, so he/she must have gotten something out of it. Hence the added value. Anyway, when someone offers up a criticism, the first reaction ought to be to reflect on the content of the criticism, not the nationality of the critic. Instead, seeing a foreigner, they pounce, the criticism itself is dismissed, and the foreigner asked to leave for not "adding value". I shouldn't have to "talk to ministries" to make things better. That's not my job. The people there might just tell me to leave Singapore too if I am not happy. The best way for me to "add value" is by contributing my two cents worth right now in this very small way. It really sucks that no one appreciates it.
isn't it ironic that comments are moderated by someone who complains about free speech of the country.
Re. not appreciating the input of foreigners.
I appreciate it. I see it as the best guidance Singapore is ever likely to get...that which comes from informed outsiders, who have not lost the power of independent thought (most Singaporeans have long ago lost this...).
You are right that if the comment comes from a foreigner it is ignored/dismissed/attacked/reviled. I have seen this often, online. What is very interesting is that, if the same comment comes from a Singaporean, there will be a tendency to engage with it. What we are seeing, therefore, is Singapore's essential xenophobia at its best. All that is foreign is deemed unqualified to comment...which is funny, really, since the outsider is more likely to note problems or deficiencies or areas that could be improved, because they have broader perspectives. This fact, however, is not appreciated locally. Many Singaporeans seem to think that their sheltered lives prepare them to see all things clearly about their nation. This is, of course, not so. Those sheltered lives are what prevent clear sight.
Thanks for your comments. They are valued by some, if not by all...just ignore those who don't value them. There is something missing in them.
"Al Kyder"...what a name.
Anyway, you have completely misundestood and mischaracterized my non-posting of Clunies-Ross post: I was ensuring that his post would not bring him or myself harm. It had nothing to do with "moderation" or free speech. What he spoke of, should not be published because of its possible consequences. His points were good ones, valid ones and valuable to hear...but they were NOT meant for public consumption. They were a private posting.
Now, it is most amusing that you speak of "free speech" yet choose a nom de plume that is highly offensive to most of the developed world, that represents the very opposite of free speech and that is responsible, as an organization, for the deaths of many people. You seem rather confused, therefore. Perhaps, before looking at and attempting to judge the actions of others, you should take a good look at your own.
As a note: I have only ever excluded offensive, overly aggressive, extremely stupid or nasty material from my blog comments. I have also eliminated those comments that I do not think my children should read. All other comments fit for public consumption are posted...even if I don't much like them. So, again, your implicit view is off the mark.
I even published your remark...even though it is quite silly.
I have not read all of your blog. But I get the sense that you must have gone through enough encounters for you to make such a post. Some people just post for the sake of complaining. While some people like you, who post for the sake of informing.
I am a Singaporean. Sad to say, I have to admit you are right. A lot of people don't like to be told the truth. They like to be told what they like to hear.
The better way to respond to a feedback is to look at the message and evaluate it, then talk to the person giving the feedback. If the person is malicious, then ignore him. If the person's intention is good, heed him.
People will be defensive when you criticize them. It is not easy to give feedback or tell the truth in such a way the other party is receptive.
Foreword: As a typical Singaporean teenager, I would like to offer my two cents' worth. So pardon me if I make any rude or immature remarks.
Hm, rather than saying that we can't take criticism or that we are unwelcoming to foreigners and their views, it will be more appropriate to say that no one in this world likes to be challenged. This is especially so when Singapore is gradually becoming more elitist and an elite will not tolerate having flaws (the Singapore government is a good example). Hence, it will be natural to relate criticism with negativity and dislike, so the "only way out" will be to leave the country that you criticize so much. Though I personally feel that it is an immature response by my fellow countrymen. (It is like that of a child who lost a fight in his territory and forces his opponent to leave.) It is thus hard for us to see that these criticisms are meaningful.
But, this is a global phenomena isn't it? As a foreigner, you have to be prepared to live with the differences. Yes, you can criticize but there is a possibility that the locals will not accept your point of view. This is why racial tension is present in many different countries in the first place. Incapability to be accommodating by both parties is the reason why people of different backgrounds never got along.
Also, I find a statement in your comment very amusing. "...You see, what Singaporeans don't understand is that their society lacks many things present in all developed Western societies..." We are still an Asian country are we not? Is it hence the foreigners that are imposing their values on the locals and trying to shape them into the foreigners' mindset of an ideal country? Have you considered the possibility that while criticizing us, you have unknowingly forced upon us value(s) which we find hard to accept?
All in all, I am saying that these behavior is not exclusive to Singaporeans only. It is the same everywhere when people move into a foreign country. It is either the foreigners learn to accept the locals or the local adapt to accommodate the foreigners. But I think, from your experiences, the latter is highly unlikely.
Ben
Thank you, Quark, for your considered words.
You are right to look at the intention of the writer, for too often this is overlooked. If the writer wishes for a better world, then surely their words should be given attention - and not be greeted with venom, simply because they say what must be said?
Singapore is a work in progress, like anywhere else. Perhaps half the problem is that too often people here are led to believe that it is already perfect. It is not, and never will be...but I hope to see it get better and better.
Kind regards
Hi Ben,
Thanks for your thoughts.
I do not think it is a case of foreigners, necessarily, imposing their values on locals. What they are doing is noting the CONSTRICTIONS and RESTRICTIONS of this society; its LIMITATIONS and DEFICIENCIES, by comparison to international norms of other developed countries. It is not about values, therefore, but opportunities, services, freedoms, rights...the kinds of things that make a society more complete, more wholesome, more welcoming - and just easier to live a good life in. On these grounds, there is much room for improvement in Singapore and much that is lacking. I think this kind of thing inspires much of the response of foreigners to Singapore.
Though many locals don't welcome it, the feedback of foreigners provides a valuable service to Singaporeans, because it offers them the chance to become aware of how their society truly compares to international standards, norms and qualities, elsewhere. You will never get this kind of honest comparison from your local media. So, really, Singaporeans should have a good listen, when they are being given the views of informed, intelligent, experienced foreigners: there is much to be learnt from their understanding and views.
By the way, Ben, you are not a "typical Singaporean teenager"...you are far more eloquent than I have observed to be typical. Carry on writing!
Yes, I see your point.
But, it's a sad fact that critics are not welcomed here. Even the voices of locals are sometimes drowned (by an unknown force, -it-, which I shall not explicitly name). In my opinion, we might have been conditioned (again by -it-) to reject views that do not conform, rather than accept.
Only when -it- can accept criticism from anyone and anything, can Singapore be welcoming.
Ben
Unknowingly, Ben, you have encapsulated the Singaporean problem, beautifully. By referring to "it", not by name, you have shown the power of this nameless one, to distort and control all discourse in the land. That, of course, is the essential problem with this nation. People's minds are not free to consider all things, for they are led to consider things only within an allowed framework. This is the reason thoughts outside the framework are deemed unacceptable. They have not been approved by "it".
Thanks for your comment. Carry on thinking...
Post a Comment
<< Home